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5 Realities of Heading Back to Work After Having a Baby
Parenting Tips, Writing

5 Realities of Heading Back to Work After Having a Baby (and why some of them don’t suck)

If you are getting ready to have a baby or may one day in the future entertain the 5 Realities of Heading Back to Work After Having a Babythought of raising a tiny human, then you’ve probably thought about the transition from working woman to working mom. Some may end up deciding that staying home with the baby is the best decision for their family. Others will head back to work after their absurdly short maternity leave is up.

For the moms that land in the latter group, heading back to work can shake up all kinds of questions and emotions. What can you expect as you make your transition back in to your old world after just having a life changing event?

Here are five realities of heading back to work after having a baby:

  1. It’s ok to feel sad, mad, guilty, happy, ecstatic, and anything in between. Hell, there may be times you feel ALL of those emotions in a single day! There’s no right way to feel about heading back to work. If you are secretly counting down the days til you head back to your old routine, don’t feel ashamed! And alternatively, if you are beside yourself with having to leave your baby for even a second to go back to your job, that’s ok too! Don’t let anyone make you feel like you aren’t reacting properly to your transition.
  2. If you decide to pump at work, just know you will more than likely become very familiar with a closet, or some other tiny space. This is where you will become half naked and waste 20 minutes of your life, always on edge wondering if one of your co-workers will accidentally walk in on you mid-pump. You’ll also start recognizing other pumping-moms because we all carry the same damn black tote bag containing our tit torture device. Give them a silent nod in solidarity as you pass by in the hallway.Searching for your perfect mom community?
  3. There are some perks with going back to work that you won’t be able to deny. Sure, you will be counting down the hours until you can hold your squishy baby again. But for real, eating lunch while it’s still hot and talking to other adults is amazing. AH.MAZING. Plus, you get to pee alone, you don’t smell like puke or piss, and you don’t have to change any diapers for an extended period of time. It’s totally ok to love this part about being back at work.
  4. You will constantly be wondering what your baby is up to when you are away. Is she sleeping soundly? Is she eating right now? Is she smiling/clapping/crawling/pooping, etc. Inevitably, you will worry that you are missing out on a milestone or something else amazing that they are doing without you there to witness it.You’ll ask for pictures and videos from whoever is watching your baby and you’ll check your phone every two minutes waiting for them to come in. And then smile like a fool in the middle of a meeting when you see your little one’s face.
  5. Your priorities may shift a bit. Before having a baby your work may have been close to the top of your list of priorities, but once baby arrives, suddenly work takes a back seat. That isn’t to say you won’t continue to work your ass off as you always have. You will. But the sense of urgency has faded a bit. When you become a mom, and by default responsible for another human being, other things seem to be less life and death in comparison. That email that comes in at quitting time will still be there in the morning, and leaving to head home and see your baby wins out. 

Grab your copy of my MUST HAVVES for new(ish) moms

Heading back to work after having a baby is always a little weird, a little awkward, a little awesome, and a little terrifying at the same time. Your emotions will have a range to them you never thought possible. But one thing will remain the same. The feeling you get when you see your baby after a long day’s work: priceless! 

If you are getting ready to head back to work yourself, give me a shout! I know first-hand exactly how hard it can be. I can share with you my story of how I miscalculated my maternity leave which led to an emotional breakdown realizing I had to go back to work earlier than expected…anyway, I get it.

I’m always here to offer up support, so reach out mama!

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Books to prepare to get rid of pacifier
Baby Products, Parenting Tips, Writing

5 Books to Prepare Your Child Before Getting Rid of the Pacifier

Getting rid of your child’s pacifier is a big decision to make and often you will have a ton5 Books to help get rid of the pacifier of questions around how you go about it, when to start the process, how to prepare them for the transition, etc.

If you think your child is ready to give up the pacifier for good, you may want prep them for what is about to happen. And if your child responds well to stories, then reading them a book about being a big girl or boy who doesn’t need the pacifier anymore may be just the thing you need to kick it off. 

Here are 5 books to prepare your child before getting rid of the pacifier.

*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. What the hell does that mean? It means that if you click one of the product links below and purchase something, I am eligible for compensation. Carry on.

 

Pacifiers Are Not Forever– This board book offers warm, comforting words and pictures to ease the transition and make it a positive experience for kids and grown-ups alike. The focus is on minimizing stress and drama, dealing with feelings of loss and frustration, finding fun things to do without a pacifier, and finally being pacifier-free. Includes helpful tips for parents.

Bea Gives Up Her Pacifier-Bea Gives Up Her Pacifier follows the story of a little girl called Bea, who refuses to give up her pacifier. Then one night her mother persuades her to leave all her pacifiers outside her room for the ‘Pacifier Fairy’ to take – (in exchange for a special gift). Bea gets to meet the fairy, who shows her that it IS possible to give up pacifiers without shedding a single tear.


No More Pacifier, Duck-Little Duck loves his pacifier, but he is getting bigger and doesn’t need it anymore. It’s time for Little Duck to make a big decision and give up his pacifier for good.


Bye-Bye Binky: Big Kid Power– Every child’s life is filled with milestones. Some happen easily; others need a little extra support. Artist and mom Maria van Lieshout has been there. Drawing upon her own experiences, she has created an engaging series of books that are just right for children on the brink of major changes and the caregivers who encourage them.


The Paci Fairy-Meet “Palina” the Paci Fairy – A childrens fable that is a fun simple solution to getting rid of the Pacifier. This story is about how Palina Paciloo from Paci-town becomes The Paci Fairy.

Have you used books to help with the paci transition? Let me know which ones you loved! And good luck mama!

How to Avoid Mom Guilt
Parenting Tips, Writing

A Mom’s Guide to Avoiding Mom Guilt Online When Perfection is Everywhere

As a mom today it’s so easy to get caught up in what we think we are doing wrong. It’s easy because all the ‘right’ things are plastered online for us to see every day. Every hour. Every minute. The perfect How to avoid mom guilt online when it seems like perfection is everywhereInstagram photo of the family eating a beautiful organic lunch, or the Facebook post about how great of a sleeper someone’s newborn is. Or maybe it’s an article someone forwarded to you about how you are now supposed to “insert unwanted parenting advice here”.

Perfection is everywhere.

And the culmination of all these bits of perfection leads to this Super Mom persona that we strive for. We try to be all things to all people because that’s what Super Mom does. That’s a ton of pressure and it’s no wonder moms are more overwhelmed than ever. We are chasing a fictional character based on portions of truths we see in people’s lives. 

There’s been a push recently to have more ‘real’ mom content out in the world and less perfection displayed. More Instagram photos that show the raw side of motherhood. And I think that’s a fine sentiment with good intentions, because it’s important to see the tough side of parenting. Continue Reading

Why The No Gift Birthday Party is Trending
Parenting Tips, Writing

The No Gift Birthday Party is Trending and Here’s Why

Three Reasons Why The No Gift Birthday Party is TrendingWhen I kept seeing a trend pop up about the no gift birthday party, I was intrigued. The idea of not having gifts sure seemed like it would take some stress out of the day, but how would it work? Would my guests comply? Would they be irritated or relieved? Would my kids hate me forever? I needed some intel.

So I asked 50 moms what they thought of the trend. Twenty seven moms were actively practicing the no gift birthday party and had positive experiences. Eight moms mentioned that they have tried to ask for no presents but that their guests still brought them or it caused an issue of some sort. Nine moms said they do not like the trend. And a few had not heard of the trend but were supportive, some were not a fan.

The top three reasons why most said they have done it were: Continue Reading

How I Finally Cut the Cable Cord
Products I Love, Writing

I FINALLY Cut the Cable Cord and Have No Regrets

How I cut the cable cord and you should too!My husband and I have discussed for a few years now about whether we should cut the cable cord. But having that conversation was easier than actually taking action. We must have talked about it a handful of times a year. Usually after our cable service would go out unexpectedly or we saw a rate hike on our monthly bill. We would bemoan and groan and then do nothing.

Maybe I was dreading the actual cancelling of the service (who wants to willingly get on the phone with their cable company?) or maybe it was FOMO holding us back from taking the plunge. Or perhaps it was just the sheer convenience of it. It was a crutch to fall back on when boredom hit (boredom, something that I vaguely remember before kids).

As luck would have it, we were forced to finally make a cord-cutting decision as we moved homes. Continue Reading

How I Got my Babies to Sleep Through The Night
Parenting Tips, Writing

How I Got My Babies to Sleep Through The Night

*Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. What the hell does that mean? It means that if you click one of the product links below and purchase something, I am eligible for compensation. Carry on.

Before you start reading this post, I want to make a few things absolutely clear. I AM NOT A BABY SLEEP EXPERT. The tips I’m dishing out will not work for everyone and every baby. Because we are all different. We have different priorities, different extenuating circumstances, different health considerations and different parenting styles. But, if even just some of my tips help you and your baby get some much needed sleep then it was worth it! Good luck mamas!
Get Your Baby To Sleep Through the NightWhen I was pregnant I kept hearing similar advice along the lines of ‘sleep now, because when the baby comes you won’t get any!’. And after the millionth time of hearing that my eyes glazed over and I started to tune it out. I didn’t think it could be THAT bad. I mean, anyone who has ever had a kid has made it through to the other side eventually, right?

And then I had my first baby and I instantly understood. The term ‘Mombie’ is probably the most accurate description of what my state of mind was in from the day each of my kids were born til the day they started sleeping through the night. You are in mom-mode 24/7, but the lack of sleep makes you more zombie than human. 

I remember with my first thinking that my body would surely give out on me at some point. And I had some amazing support from my husband and family to boot, but even with their help, it was only a few days in as a mom and I was already looking forward to the day my baby would sleep through the night.

As most new moms do, I read up on what this new phase of my life was going to be all about. And one of the books that caught my attention was Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. I enjoyed this book because it gave me a view into a version of parenting that was, dare I say, not the typical American way of smothering children. Maybe it was the millennial in me that wants to raise my children to be everything our stereotypes say we are (but we really aren’t). But French parenting really made sense.  Continue Reading

What Mom's Really Want for Mother's Day
Writing

What Moms REALLY Want for Mother’s Day

What moms really want for Mother's DayThis essay appeared in The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.

Mother’s Day. A day so many women, especially new moms, look forward to. And also the day so many men fear. What could a dad possibly give to a woman that eloquently sums up her pivotal role in the circle of life? How can he pick a gift that would measure up to the act of creating human life, incubating it, then birthing a watermelon sized being? To say nothing of the actual act of raising said human with nothing but grace and rainbows every day (ok, not every day). It’s a daunting task.

So bless his heart, new dad usually goes with the typical Mother’s Day standbys you see in commercials every year where the actress portraying the mom seems so damn happy to be receiving those flowers/candy/stuffed animal/heart pendant/coffee mug, etc., etc.

Or maybe dad thinks that getting the kids involved is a superb way to show just how much mom means to the family. Breakfast in bed is cute, right? NO. PLEASE DEAR GOD NO. All this means is mom wakes to the smell of burnt toast and kids crying over who is placing the blueberries in the pancakes. Then mom has to pretend to still be asleep so the kids get the joy of waking her up to serve her breakfast on her special day.

Continue Reading

Travel Guide to Indy with Kids
Writing

Weekend Guide to Indy with Kids

A Weekend Guide to Indy with Kids If you are needing a quick get away with your kids and happen to be driving distance from Indianapolis then this weekend guide to Indy is for you! Indy has a ton to offer for kids and adults alike so two days isn’t nearly enough time to see it all. But my family recently took a road trip over and my kids had a blast so I wanted to share what we did to help jump start your planning.

Going in to the trip I knew the Indianapolis Children’s Museum would top my list of things to do. But beyond that I tried to stay flexible. And that really paid off in the end because although we went over in February the weather ended up being unseasonably warm. That meant we were able to do more outdoor activities than I originally planned for. Continue Reading

Writing

A Millennial Mom’s Review of Beauty and the Beast

** SPOILER WARNING! Although this is a remake to the original 1991 cartoon version, there are some plot differences and additional character developments that I will be commenting on. Reader beware. 

A Millennial Mom's Review of Beauty and the BeastOne thing was very clear to me almost from the start of watching Beauty and the Beast. This film was made for the Millennials and Gen Xers and their parents that grew up watching the original cartoon. This live action version went to painstaking lengths to modernize the film as well as address many of the plot issues (and straight up holes, like why it’s summer in one scene and a blizzard in the next) that only those who have seen the original cartoon 50 times would be able to recognize. 

Sure, the creators of the film also new that Gen X and Millennials would be eager to share a Disney favorite with their own kids, but that’s just a revenue generating side affect from the recent ’90s throwback craze.

Here’s a few ways the new film is a bit more updated. Continue Reading

How to Meet New Mom Friends
Writing

My Unconventional Way To Meet New Mom Friends

How to Connect With New Mom FriendsThere’s this inevitable shift that happens when you have kids. You start to befriend complete strangers because you share the same common denominator: creating human life.

Maybe it’s at the weekly play date. Or the mom you see every morning at daycare drop off. You see the same parents all the time and you realize that even though you don’t know them, you feel like you do know them on a deeper level. Because raising kids is hard AF and you happen to be in the same war zone together. 

So you give them a knowing nod in support as they corral their screaming kids in the car. Or maybe you make small talk with a mom at the park. These conversations are always the same. Obligatory “he/she is so cute!’ intro. Obligatory age comparison, etc. etc. Continue Reading