Have you ever stopped to think about how many decisions you make in a day mama? Nah, no time for that. Well, I can do the math for you. It’s a shit ton. Some decisions are easy to make and run on autopilot, others aren’t so easy. And that’s where self-doubt can creep in.
Even decisions that seem like they would be a piece of cake can turn on a dime. Picking out a sippy cup should be painless, right? Scroll on Amazon for one minute and you’ll realize quickly that’s not the case. Now take in to consideration your mom friend who swears by a certain brand of cup, but the Insta-famous mom you follow says she would never recommend it. It’s enough to make you give up an let your child drink out of bottle until they are 16.
These little every day decisions can wreak havoc on the confidence of a mom. If you can’t even pick the right sippy cup, how the hell are you supposed to make BIG decisions for your family?
Don’t worry mama, I’m here to help. Here are my five tips to overcome self-doubt.
- Trust your mama gut. No, not the love handles left over from your pregnancy bod, your gut. Your ‘second brain’. You’ve heard the phrase ‘trust your gut’, right? It’s a common phrase to use as encouragement to make a decision. It implies that you inherently know the right path to be taking and if you simply listen to yourself you’ll have your answer. I always thought there might be something to it, if not just strong coincidence. And it turns out there’s some truth, and biology, to it. Your gut is often called the ‘second brain’ because of the gazillions (super scientific term) of neurons that run from there to your brain. This network of neurons is as complicated as those found in our spinal cord. For real, your gut knows a thing or two. The cells in your gut can think and can even remember things!And I think mamas need to tap in to their gut more! If you have a hunch, an inkling, a feeling about
something then follow it!
- Stand by your decisions. Once you’ve made a decision, no mater how big or small, stand by it. You had your reasons. You trusted your gut. You didn’t just make a decision willy nilly. This can be especially hard to do when outside perspectives come in to the picture.If you’ve ever been out in public with a screaming baby or misbehaving toddler then you know what I’m talking about. You can feel the eyeballs on you as you make that parenting decision on how to handle the situation. Do people think I’m an awful mom for letting my toddler throw a fit in the middle of the checkout aisle because I refuse to give them a candy bar?It doesn’t matter. They don’t have the context behind why you made that decision. But you do. You made the right decision in that moment. Stick with it!
- Stop apologizing. For real mamas, stop saying sorry. By apologizing for the action or decision you made your brain has permission to treat it like a mistake. It’s ok to love the choices you make. You SHOULD love the choices you make, you made them for a reason! Even if it’s not that same decisions others are making. Sorry, not sorry that your party is in the middle of nap times and we can’t make it. Sorry, not sorry that we will pass on the juice and opt for water. Sorry, not sorry that we did zero organized kids activities this summer and opted for a lazy season.Whatever it is, be confident!
- Surround yourself with kick ass moms. You need your mom tribe more than ever right now. And at this stage it can be hard to stay connected. But reaching out to others who are going through what you are can be a game changer in boosting your confidence.Motherhood is a shit show that we are all experiencing so why not commiserate with those who know that best? Plus, you will learn a thing or two from the mamas who have been there, done that. Talk to your mom friends about your doubts and fears. I can guarantee they have had similar thoughts and you can help each other to overcome them.
- Let go of what you can’t control. So much of life is outside of our control. Which is hard for a mom. We want the absolute best for our family and want to believe that we can control the outcomes of everything. But we can’t. We can’t control the actions of others. We can’t control the thoughts of others. We can’t control the weather, the traffic, the mood of our toddler…you get the picture.When you start to question your decision, first determine whether you are questioning something that is within your control. If it’s not, let it go. You’ll save yourself so many ‘what-if’ scenarios that just weigh on your confidence.Instead, play to your strengths and the outcomes you CAN control.
In a world of online judgment, mom shaming and choice overload, self-doubt can creep in so easily for a mom. Tapping in to these tips will help you overcome that doubt and be confident in the decisions you are making.
They are the right decisions because you made them!
What are some ways you’ve overcome doubt as a mom? Let me know!
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